The eponymous Daphne Guinness once intoned, “I’m not high-maintenance. When I think my hair needs a bit of help, I just glue another bit on to my head.” The eccentricity and glue philosophy is ever applicable as we launch headlong into Fashion Week season. Today, New York begineth, and from it’s generous fashion bounty we are about to sup. There is no time for high maintenance in a world that paradoxically demands constant perk, a flawless complexion and inspiring levels of chic.
These ten tips promise to lead your bejewelled hand from star-drenched New York City to daringly eclectic London, from elegant Milan to whimsically extravagant Paris.
1. Invest in the right handbag. It has to be large enough to put your statement scarf and giant hat in, should the pre-show line tousle get a little rough. It’s got to have some serious handle cred too. No doubt you’ll be using it as a carry on, and it’ll be overflowing with heavy high fashion magazines to keep you in the know as you fly. Soon you’ll be tramping your way through some of the word’s toughest pickpocket cities. So armor up, and go with a fabric that can’t be sliced, diced or thread-picked by jingling gypsies.
2. Befriend a local photographer. He’s bound to have a car or a reliable taxi contact for all his camera gear, and that means a couple of extra square inches in the back seat for you and your giant eyelashes. He’ll also take photographs of you at the events, sparking instant paparazzi appeal. Listen carefully to his advice. Soon, you’ll be posing like Anna Dello Russo, high on cherry-shaped millinery and hot pink monkey fur.
3. Get in with the right clique. See that red-lipped, size zero femme fatale in the center of the room? She’s probably Victoria Beckham. And she probably thinks you’re Anna Dello Russo. You could be, with a hat like that darling.
4. Carry emergency tights. Climbing that metaphorical career ladder is near impossible with ladders in your hosiery. Stock up early and avoid the stress of dashing around the city trying to learn the local lingo for “holey stockings”. Two pairs in the bottom of your handbag will save your life. Bonus points if you use the second pair to network with a world famous editor who just happens to have just committed her own laddery faux pas.
5. Get friendly with your GPS. You’re in a strange city. Even if you call that city home, the landscape looks mysteriously foreign now that its been invaded by the strange and beautiful fashion glitterati. Whether you’re stalking dark alleys seeking out the avant garde, or sashaying straight up to the Palais de Tokyo, you’ll want to know the fastest way to get there, and which fashionable café to pause at for your hourly espresso.
6. Drink champagne. It’s pretty. It makes you happy. But don’t go crazy. Half a glass per show is enough to have you dancing elegantly across floorboards of bubbles, and a great excuse for accidentally bumping into a gorgeous model. Smoking is good too. Have your lighter out, ready to offer somebody glamorous a little bit of extra fire.
7. Stash away a bag of your favorite nuts. Full of free radicals, fatty acids, vitamins and minerals, they’ll help stave of the dreaded Fashion Week flu. Non-greasy, non-odorous and tiny enough to pop in your mouth in any location, trade in your boyfriend for these bad boys, and you won’t be doing too shabby.
8. Hairspray. Three words: “legal pepper spray”. Jokes aside, you’ll want to be able to depend on something as you wait outside the shows for hours on end. What’s more dependable that an iron hard beehive or perfectly bouncy curls?
9. Ditch the layers. Try checking in two sweaters, three scarves, a pair of gloves and an overcoat at a Fashion Week after party. Not practical. Unless you’re ready to generously donate one Ralph Lauren cardigan to every fashion house or magazine conglomerate on the Parisian circuit, pair it back. Checking a single, luxurious coat at the door usually costs less than 2 Euros. Then, there’s the dramatic effect when you take it off and you’re practically naked underneath. The aesthetic chills will be worth the gangrene.
10. Strap on those Louboutins now, sleep next month, thank me later. If all else fails, give Ms. Guinness a ring and beg to borrow some crazy glue.
Bonne chance and bisous!
Written by: Symonne Torpy
Paris Girl…Your Ten Tips are brilliant…So right on target! Loved the collage of the Survival Kit!
Great Job!!